What Ethically Run Horse Business Owners Wish People Knew About This Life

The Week of the Abscesses, 3 out of 3.5 horses lame. Only Splashy Pony (in the photo) has four good feet.

Splashy checking out the hoof ascess gear and poultice.

I remind myself, as I am shuffling poultices and buckets and farrier tools, how blessed I am to have studied farriery in Finland in the 90s. It means I can do my own hoof care and support my herd through weeks like this. But much like our beloved farmers, we as horse owners cannot control the conditions, the weather, or the million little things that influence the wellbeing of our animals.

What we can do is keep showing up. We can keep working hard at work worth doing, because it nourishes the soul in a way nothing else does. This is the heart of my work through Happy Horse with Merja, where everything is designed to create real change for both horses and humans.

For the horses in rescue and recovery, this consistency and emotional clarity is what allows them to exhale. It gives them the time, space, and safety they need to come back into themselves, to rebuild trust in humans, and to discover that leadership can feel kind instead of coercive.

The same transformation happens for the people who come to Pony Camps or step into psychology based horsemanship training. They arrive curious or hesitant, sometimes carrying fear, grief, or old stories about who they are around horses. And then, slowly and gently, they learn a new way. They learn to listen to horses with their whole body, to communicate with intention, to regulate their emotions so the horse can regulate too. They discover that good horsemanship is never about domination. It is about partnership, consent, clarity, and compassion.

And the end result is always the same. The horses soften. The humans soften. Confidence grows in both directions. And a new kind of relationship begins to form, one where both sides feel seen, valued, and understood. This is the work worth doing. It is why we keep showing up, even on the weeks when nothing goes to plan. Because this work changes lives, and it changes the culture of horsemanship one horse, and one human, at a time.

Most people understand the depth of commitment required to keep offering our services, our produce, our teaching, and our care. But some still question the price of horsemanship or riding lessons. They wonder why I only teach groups of up to two people at a time. The answer is simple. I have a horse first approach. I need to be sure that if one of my three teaching horses is unexpectedly out, through no fault of theirs or mine, I can still honour the lessons I have promised. Weeks like this, where all three end up with abscesses at the same time, are rare, but they can happen. And when they do, the entire operation has to flex around the needs of the horses first. Always.

Merja with Ally the rescue thoroughbred

This is why mental health matters so deeply for ethically run animal businesses and primary producers. There is no logging off. There is no tidy separation between life and work. There is simply the calling to care, to be there, to embrace a lifestyle that asks for presence, resilience, and heart.

When people ask what I am doing for Christmas, the answer is usually the same. Feed the horses. Clean the horses. Train the horses. Yes, it is my choice. Yes, I love it. And yes, I treasure that most horse lovers I meet understand that this is not a hobby. It is a vocation. A life lived alongside sentient beings who depend on us to get it right.

And I also want to say this, gently: For those who grew up in a culture where horses were seen as machines, where riding was something you took rather than something you earned through relationship, please know you are welcome here too. None of us were born knowing how to see a horse's inner world. Many of us were taught to prioritise output over wellbeing, obedience over understanding. We were handed traditions, not truths.

But horses are not bikes. They are not tools or tanks or tractors. They are sovereign, feeling beings who meet us with a generosity that still astonishes me after all these years.

If you are beginning to question the old ways, or even if something inside you simply whispers that there must be more, then you are already on the path. Awareness is the first gift we offer our horses. Responsibility is the second. And the third, perhaps the most transformative of all, is love. It is steady, patient, and willing to grow.

When we shift from asking how this horse can serve me to asking who I need to become for this horse to feel safe with me, everything changes. The work becomes meaningful. The partnership becomes mutual. And the horse, finally, gets to be a horse.

Here is to every one of us learning, unlearning, and remembering a gentler way, one that honours them, honours us, and reshapes the culture of horsemanship for the better.

If you feel called to deepen your relationship with horses, or to explore a kinder, emotionally intelligent way of being with them, you are warmly invited into this work.

Whether you join a Pony Camp for Grown-Ups or Couples in Jan/Feb, step into my psychology based training, or support a rescue horse’s journey back to trust, you become part of a community committed to doing right by horses.

When you are ready, the herd and I are here.

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