This blog is a transcribed excerpt from a live Q&A in our Integrated Life Facebook group, so it is written in spoken language. To find the original video on YouTube, click here.
How does the concept of ego relate to the four people within?
The concept of ego as it relates to the Four People Within work is that ego is something that oftentimes is devalued. People talk about ego only in a negative sense, generally. And, in fact, ego is necessary for our survival. If we don't have ego, we can be in danger of going extinct. Therefore, we need ego for certain things. We need ego for surviving, we need ego for prioritizing yourself, and we need ego for achievement. Let's not think that ego is just this negative thing which we want to get rid of. We don't want to get rid of the ego, but we want to harness it so that it actually works for us and with us, as opposed to against us or against other people.
Each one of the four people within has an ego drive. So your Adult Self has an ego drive in a form of achieving things. Your Inner Parent has an ego drive, which makes you able to protect yourself and your inner children. The Inner Children also have an ego drive. The inner 10 Year Old’s ego is around being black and white and knowing what is and isn't right for you. And there's nothing wrong with that. The inner 3 Year Old has an ego drive in feeling special. And all of those things are actually really important for us to have a balanced, caring, loving life.
We need to feel like we belong. So we need to fulfill the 3 Year Old’s ego needs. We need to know who we are and who we are not so we need to fulfill the 10 Year Old’s egotistic needs. We have a need for survival, which means that our Inner Parent has ego needs and those need to be met. And if we want to live a purposeful life, we need to have our Adult Self’s ego needs met.
Our inner children being triggered, as well as all the four different parts of us being triggered, makes us behave in an egotistical way.
If this concept of the 4 People Within is new to you, check out the course here to learn more.
Woman taking a selfie: Photo by Valerie Elash on Unsplash