Money and relationships


We all look at money and finances through different lenses. In fact most of our money issues have nothing to do with money at all, they have to do with the lens through which we look at money.

This is why most of our financial transformation comes from examining, challenging and changing the lens through which we view financial matters.

Have you ever noticed how many issues money creates in relationships? People who love each other struggle with

- having different financial priorities,

- keeping money secrets from each other,

- comparing levels of income,

- not talking about money,

- having separate finances due to lack of trust, and

- having unsecured debt looming over them.

Each of these struggles is not actually about money. They are about the lens through which we view money and financial matters: a lens of distrust, shame and fear.

Let's, for a moment, think that we have the basics covered. Let's imagine we have enough money to feed ourselves and to pay for shelter, and we have a little bit left over each week to spend on ourselves.

Now, if we change our lens from distrust and fear into something non-threatening, and

put the above struggles into a completely random context, oh let's say knitting, you would soon realize that the money-related relationship issues themselves are not an issue:

- Does it matter if you knit socks or a scarf?

- Do you still need to hide how much you knitted today from your partner?

- Does it still matter which one of you knits more?